Say My Name, Say My Name.

(Mr. Bilford Blaze and Mr. Neil Barnes have just finished a game of Call of Duty, when Mr. Bilford Blaze sits back in contemplation. He looks melancholy.)

Barnes: "Dude...what's wrong with you? Your aim was off, and you look like you just found out Scarlett Johansson's a lesbian."

Blaze (tossing the joystick away): "I'm single again."

Barnes: "Whoa dude. Sorry. What's the deal?"

(Mr. Bilford Blaze presses his hands together, in preparation for his story, as Mr. Neil Barnes reaches for another can of Red Bull.)

Blaze: "Well, last night, we were having sex, right?..."

Barnes: "Sweet..."

Blaze: "And...she starts screaming SAY MY NAME..."

Barnes: "Hot..."

Blaze: "Well, see, that's the thing...I didn't know her name..."

Barnes: "Dude, you dated her for like three months."

Blaze: "I know, but she was really wasted the night I met her, so I didn't get her name and I just didn't think it was that important. So I called her Baby instead, and she seemed to like that."

Barnes: "A bitch by any other name still bangs as good, right?"

Blaze: "It was good...until I took a guess and called her Rosemary..."

Barnes: "Your ex, dude...really?"

Blaze: "It was the only name I could think of!"

Barnes: "What'd she do?"

(Slight pause of reflective silence...)

Blaze: "She liked it."

Barnes: "Oh. Then why'd she break up with you?"

Blaze: "I broke up with her."

Barnes: "DUDE WHY!"

(Mr. Bilford Blaze raises his eyebrow in disdain.)

Blaze: "Because she called me Drake."